Hi guys!! So finally some of you may already know that I have my prosthetic leg, only problem is it doesn’t exactly fit right…but we’re working on it! I’m hoping that Thursday will be a better day when it comes to my next leg fitting because last weeks disappointment was too much to handle. Although I’d been told that it takes some adjusting until it’s perfect I was hoping it would go as well as everything else had done but it hadn’t. I still agreed to do some physio sessions whilst waiting so I’ve been learning to kick with my prosthetic,stepping and a couple of walks but it’s super uncomfortable at the minute so I’m holding off until my next fitting on Thursday.
I was really hoping I’d be more confident walking and have my leg close to taking home before my birthday but that doesn’t look likely now which is ,again, disappointing because it’s my 18th but if I rush it, it will affect the rest of my life so I’m going to have to wait a few more weeks before I’m heading out to the clubs!
That’s an exciting thing though, next week is my birthday! It’s something to look forward too because at the minute I haven’t got much keeping me going. Everyday I do near to nothing because my family are working and my friends are either at college or working so it’s a bit of a bummer really but it’s life and life goes on. It’s difficult on me mentally having to deal with myself 24/7 and I’d be lying if I said it was easy, it isn’t. I’ve never been one to deal well with things like feelings and emotions especially when they’re negative, I end up taking it on the people closest to me and pushing them away which doesn’t help my loneliness, I’m trying my hardest to cope with it in my own way but sometimes it’s not the right way. I’m just trying to tell myself that there’s not long left now. My main goal is to be back at work as soon as possible, I’m so used to interacting with so many different people a day that just having myself makes me feel lonely sometimes.
On the plus side, we’re closer to the finish than we are from the start. I have to give myself some credit that I’ve already got a prosthetic leg and learning to walk so quickly, I did only have my amputation a little over 2 months ago and so much has happened since then.
I apologise if this blog post seems a bit of a downer but it’s an update of my journey in my life so not all the time are things smiles and rainbows. I’m lucky really that through it all this is probably my only down moment and hopefully we can come past this and get back on that positive path!
I’m hoping next weeks blog will be more exciting with it being my birthday week and more will be happening!!